Replay

It feels like time is ticking and each tick brings me back to that moment…its replaying in my head…I feel it like it was just yesterday.

The feeling of desperation creeps in and I feel helpless again.

It is such a confusing thing…I was happy in the morning and now I am at the brink of falling apart.

I want to hold it together and I want to not feel it. I want to just ignore all these emotions but each time I look at the calendar, watch an instagram video, and god forbid if I turn on his cellphone…(why would I do that?) I don’t have the answer. Its like a part of me want to see how much I can handle and then in the end I find myself wanting to just curl up in my bed, wishing you were there.

Why do I do that to myself - I’m crazy.